Bittersweet Desire
by lovefashionmuch
Summary: CH. 9 "Her logic was if she ignored it, it would vanish into the fresh air. Pain was the least of her worries; the last thing she wanted to be doing was making it worse by acknowledging it." Niley
1. Temptation

**A/N : Thanks for the reviews. I've decided that I would do a few chapters of Miley's life and what lead her to commit suicide and then the rest of the chapters would be reactions and the aftermath. **

**Disclaimer : I own nothing ; whatsoever.**

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Miley Stewart cringed at the site of the numerous hate comments as she scrolled down the page. The comments were building up by the minute. Hell the post was just published about 5 minutes ago and there were exactly 100 comments. That's a new record. Skimming through the page, there were about a few blah ones, one defending her, and the others tearing her down. One defending her. 1/100 was in her favor. She refreshed the page as the tears poured down her porcelain skin. 300 comments. Scrolling even more down, the comments got more nasty and harsh. She knew she shouldn't be doing this; but this had become a habit. She had to know what people thought about her; more importantly her fans. But even 1 hate comment would stick in her mind, rather then the ones defending/praising her. Lately her fans, have been leaving her each and every second. She didn't understand why. People were supposed to be fans for her talent, not her personal life.

Hell the post was just a picture of her getting coffee, but reading the comments you would have thought that she had killed someone. How in the heck could a few private pictures that she sent to her then-boyfriend result in this. They were only meant for **his **eyes, not the whole damn world. But people took it upon themselves, to tear her down every spare moment of their time. It was like a game. Who can bring Miley down? And what's the prize? What satisfaction can someone get from seeing someone on the verge of losing it all? More disturbingly, the comments were from people of all ages. **Parents. Kids. Teens. Grandparents. **

Refreshing the page once again, she closed her eyes and inhaled for a few seconds and then exhaled. That seemed to be the only reason she was standing here living - was just to breathe. Her parents and siblings were barely ever home. The only time she saw her mom was when she had to do something press related. Her Dad and siblings were probably home once every month. And even then, she only got to see them for a few minutes, they didn't even want anything to do with her. But that didn't stop them from spending her money and living off of her fame.

Her social life was dunzo. It seemed to the outside world that she had a few acquaintances left. But they only wanted fame - their 15 minutes of fame. And once they got what they wanted, they left. Mandy was a good example. She just breezed out of her life when she got the recording contract - without so much as a fuck you. But, Miley got used to it. Everyone seemed to walk out of her life; it was like a pattern. She would never admit it but she enjoyed the company. It made her feel less lonely; a very small change, but still it made her feel a little bit better when she had someone around. It distracted her from harming herself or doing anything stupid. But, now she was alone, and the temptation was thick in the air.

As she was debating on whether or not she should do it, the comments immediately distracted her as her blue orbs glanced over the computer screen. 600 comments. She refreshed the page. 1000 comments. Sighing, she got to work and read each and every comment. She didn't have anything to do and no one was there, so this entertained her in some sick way. Reading through the numerous comments, she started crying hysterically. But as soon as she let them get the best of her, her eyes came across a name mentioned in a comment. **Nick. **She stood there frozen with her dark blue eyes wide open.

Nick Gray.

The guy who had caused this - at least in her mind. She hadn't talked to him in what like months. He had been ignoring for quite a while now, and she didn't have any idea of why. She didn't do anything. They had always agreed to stay friends and be there for each other. But promises were broken, and she was left to wonder in the darkness - why? _Did she say something wrong? Are they too ashamed to be seen with her or even speak a word to her?_

She loved him still. She couldn't go anywhere without being reminded of him. It depressed the hell out of her. And the sad part was, he probably never wasted his thoughts on her. She didn't blame him, nobody did. Only people who didn't know her and wanted the worse for her. She clicked out of the gossip website and opened up google. Sighing loudly, she typed in Selena Russo and Nick Gray. Cursing herself, she clicked enter. She then clicked on news, and saw a picture of them out and about. Out and about. **Hypocrite. **When they were together, he made her keep their relationship a secret, therefore there only place where they could really be together was the tour bus. Oh, had that brought back some memories. Rolling her eyes, she looked at the picture. They looked happy together - he was smiling, she was looking perfect as always. Trophy girlfriend.

By then, her tears had dried up and she couldn't bear all of this. She clicked out and shut her laptop. Surrounding herself in darkness, she crawled into her bed and couldn't hold in the tears anymore. She cried herself to sleep. All the hate comments, and the picture - it was all to much to bear, as always. This happened every night, it was a routine. It distracted her from harming herself. But she knew that she was going to cave in soon, the pressure and temptation was all too much.

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**A/N : So I decided to stop there. Thoughts? I like this chapter. I think I did pretty good, and captured some of what she's feeling and going through. Please R&R.**


	2. Broken Promise

**A/N : OMG thanks for all of the reviews/story alerts. I just woke up and got inspired to write yet again. I know I said I would do a few chapters of Miley's life but I wanted to do a chapter or two in Nick's POV before the death. This one is rather short; it was kind of hard writing in his POV, but I just wanted to give you a taste of what he's feeling. The chapters aren't going to be this short, but I didn't want to over-do his part. The next one will be in Miley's POV.**

**FYI : Remember this in Nick's POV.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever.**

Nick Gray.

Over the past year it became a name that millions upon millions of girls became obsessed with.

The Gray Brothers had finally made it big in the music industry.

His face has been plastered on posters, clothing items, screen savers, billboards, cereal boxes, etc.

_So, why wasn't he happy?_

Nick Gray sighed as he asked himself that question yet again. The question who's answer he didn't want to hear because it would cause the stench of the cold hearted truth. It had become a daily routine in the morning - when he was alone. Alone with his thoughts. The thoughts that haunted him every second. The thoughts of _her_.

Miley Stewart.

His first love that he let go without an explanation but with rather a promise.

A promise that had been broken.

Thinking of her, brought back so many once cherished memories that brought a real genuine smile to his face. A smile. The first real one in a month. But it also brought back the guilt and regret. Anger burst through his veins, as Kevin breezed through the door.

Kevin.

The one that just had to wear that stupid shirt - causing even more problems and issues.

Kevin didn't say a word, he didn't have to. One look at the older boy's face and you could perfectly see the emotion. Rolling his eyes, at his brother's attempt to apologize, he ushered for him to go. So there he was alone - once again.

& the thoughts of **her** poured through his mind.

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	3. Key to Happiness

**A/N : Thanks for all the reviews; I love reading feedback. Special thanks to pariswindspeed. Her reviews are always amazing and bring a smile to my face. This chapter is kind of darkish, it's in Miley's POV, and there's a little bit of her and her mother's relationship. If your wondering, Miley's not going to die anytime soon, maybe five chapters later because I really want to describe her life - the media, interviews, paparazzi, relationships with family/peers, depression, loneliness. She'll have a special guest next chapter that will get her back on track but that will only be for a limited amount of time. Would you guys like me to do like a few short POVS of like Selena/Demi/Joe/Kevin's characters and how they are feeling in the situation? Long author note lol.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever.**

As the sunlight poured through the curtains, Miley Stewart's blue orbs shunned to life. Breathing in and out, her chest heaved. It was moments like these that reminded her that she was alive. But other than that, she felt nothing. Hell she may as well be dead. Here she was taking each and every breath for granted, wishing for an escape. Her fragile body ached of pain and that brought a smile to her face. Smiling brightly, the lifeless blue orbs roamed around her bedroom. Too many expensive things that she never used but thought they would make her feel better. It would seem so, right? Lifeless things helping lifeless people? Nope. It was true, money didn't buy happiness. It crushed hers and ruined everything she had going for her. All it did was distracted her, making her mind wander to countless thoughts leading back to her past life where everything fell into place.

A sold out tour.

Millions upon millions of fans all around the world.

Amazing friends.

Number 1 CDs && a hit TV show.

**Him.**

But as soon as she felt complete, it all came crashing down with a goodbye. Muffled screams and countless tears were exchanged. What did she get in return for the goodbye? A broken heart. She thought it was a dream - everything had been so perfect and then in a second it was all taken away.

So the shattered girl gave up hope, he never came back. Not a word or acknowledgement from him was exchanged. She desperately tried getting his attention, hell practically rebelling against her morals. Still nothing.

Not only did she lost her hope, she lost her dignity, fans, and will to live.

What she did get was practically a slap in the face; his brother publically choosing sides over something he knew nothing about.

Tears streamed their way down her porcelain face as her mother stormed into her bedroom without knocking. _Damn does anyone in this fucking world have manners anymore? _Her mom looked like a blonde barbie doll; plastic and fake. At least she finally found something that matched her personality. Staring at the the woman she used to look up to, she felt inadequate.

Her mother's dark anger filled eyes roamed around Miley's suffocating lifeless room, not even bothering to acknowledge her daughter's disheveled presence. Her orbs caught the sight of why she even wasted her precious time strutting in here - money. Her diamond encrusted designer heels stomped their way to the destination. Taking the handfuls of hundred dollar bills, she breezed out of the room.

Bitch.

Miley used to be extremely outspoken and the kind of girl that didn't take shit from anyone, but she lost all ability to do so. She barely talked or came out of her safe place - her room. The room that protected her from the hateful people roaming the world. Lately, with her reading hundreds of comments on gossip sites daily, her feelings of safety and security came crashing down.

Getting up from her comforting bed, she groaned. Her black sweatpants fell down, but hell all she thought about that was - more weight loss. She only ate when it was necessarily; basically when she felt like she was going to faint. Water and small portions of fruit.

Striding to her bathroom, she turned on the blinding lights and stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Shrunken face.

Dark, uninviting, emotionless eyes.

Pasty skin.

Shrugging off the state of her appearance, she felt an extreme amount of pain jolt through her unhealthy figure. With that, the dizziness from barely eating, and depression, she knew something was wrong.

As soon as her fragile fingers reached for the medicine cabinet, she heard a click. Rolling her eyes, she flashed the invading paparazzi at the her bathroom window, her middle finger. Pain surged through her body, as she walked towards the window and closed the blinds.

Walking back to the medicine cabinet, her hands came across multiple pill bottles. A surge of excitement and thrill bolted through her. That topped with the pain and everything else felt like an all time high that she was attracted to. Hell just one touch of a pill bottle gave her this.

Shutting the bathroom door behind her, she felt her knees go weak and she fell on the carpet. Pill bottles scrambled everywhere. Crying out in pain, she crawled, desperately trying to get the pill bottles. The key to true moments of happiness.

As her hands graced the numerous pill bottles, she felt complete again. It was like in 2007. She never wanted this to go away.

Opening up a random pill bottle, she took out six pills, and shoved them down her throat.

And that's how it all began.

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	4. Dizziness

**A/N : Thanks for the reviews. Honestly, I'm not so sure about this chapter, so honest feedback is appreciated; it's a little cliffy at the end. It was a little hard writing in Kevin's POV, but I think I captured his character well. It might be a little surprising. In this chapter, Miley's POV is really short, as you will see something happens to her. The mysterious person from Miley's past is coming next chapter and she will restore Miley's hope for just a little bit. I didn't spell check it or read over it so there might be a few mistakes.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever.**

Feeling high on life and out of touch with reality, Miley Stewart sighed dreamily as the shower head streamed out scolding hot water. Her muscles instantly relaxed as she cleansed her skinny frame. Clouds of steam surrounded her; awakening her senses. Breathing in, her nostrils were welcomed with the scent of vanilla. The scent that _he_ always loved breathing off of her silky soft skin. **Memories.**

Traces of dizziness flew through her weak body. Feeling her knees go weak, she desperately tried clinging onto the shower bar. Losing her balance, she hysterically screamed for help. But her screams went unheard as her body fell onto the hard egg white tiles. The last thing she saw was a pool of blood lying beside her, and then it all went black.

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**Kevin's POV**

Strumming random chords on his limited edition guitar, Kevin Gray quietly hummed to himself, letting his emotions pour out. Humming turned into mumbling, which then lead to singing. He felt comfortable and at ease. Words were being tossed around as he vented out everything he'd been holding in.

Tiny beads of sweat formed behind his neck, as he let his thoughts wonder. Memories of _her_ flooded is thinking process, bringing a cheesy smile to his face.

Miley Stewart.

The beautiful girl he was hopelessly in love with.

They had first met at an aids charity event. Feeling out of place, he stayed by the corner, not wanting to socialize with the celebrities. He desperately wanted to find a way to escape from the event, but he couldn't be selfish. His brother's record company had just dropped them, hence them being here for opportunities.

He had tried mingling with random people, but they just shrugged him off. Out of nowhere, a beautiful young girl approached him. They began talking and he immediately felt comfortable. Laughing at a joke she tossed around, her fingers gently graced his back. Sparks flew across his body.

Being in her presence was truly indescribable. He found himself crushing on her, but she was a little young for his taste. But he promised himself he wouldn't lose hope. His brother, Nick, came strutting towards them, causing Miley to catch her breath. What he saw next, broke his heart. His brother was kissing her. Realization hit him, so this was the girl Nick was talking about.

After that day, he tried to get over her. But he couldn't. Every thought was haunted of her.

Years passed by, and they had become close. He told her everything - except his feelings, of course. He always had to contain himself from kissing her.

One day, his hope finally restored. His brother had broken up with her. But when he saw her face, his hope came crashing down. She was heartbroken. Seeing the hurt in her blue orbs, hurt him too. Every glance in his brother's directions, tears would pour out.

His brother had been a douche towards her. Completely ignoring her existence and shunning her. But, if you listened intently at night, you could hear his muffled cries.

Months went by, and he found himself hating her. Bros before hos as they say. He wanted her to experience the numbing pain he went through for all those years. So, he stooped low, and publically chose sides; leaving her left in the dark.

Tears formed in his eyes as he shuddered at the memory. She would never know how he truly felt, and he was content with that. He didn't deserve her, and that was slowly killing him.

* * *

**Meanwhile.....**

"Miley" a soft voice poured throughout the empty bedroom. Hearing the shower run, she instantly relaxed. An hour passed by, and she got extremely worried. Slowly knocking on the door, it flew open.

Clutching her stomach, she let out a muffled scream at the sight in front of her.

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	5. Incomplete

**A/N : So the conversation between Miley and Demi will happen next chapter. I'm happy about how this chapter turned out. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll shut my mouth. **

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever.**

Demi Torres never was one to get annoyed easily, but with all the unnecessarily drama happening over the course of the past few months, she was on the verge of cracking. The black circular clock on the pure white walls seemed to be taunting her; waiting for her to make her first wrong move. The pressure to be perfect was exhausting. She was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

When she first had signed that contract with Disney, it felt so surreal and out of touch; very dreamlike. Words really couldn't describe how she was feeling. It was indescribable. She felt so blessed to finally have an opportunity to be able to spread her music around the world. She wanted to inspire people with her lyrics. Music was her life; she was very passionate and serious about the subject.

Months later, she was very anxious to start the recording process; she had a lot of meaningful songs she had written. They were very mature and deep. Each word had a meaning, every song was like telling a story. She was proud of her songwriting ability but wasn't so sure what Disney would have thought. They loved her voice; constantly praising her for her vocal abilities. But she knew of the other Disney artists, their music tended to be cheesy and meaningless; only catchy.

When she had met with representatives of Disney, she had shown them a few copies of some of the songs she was working on. The songs were truly inspiring and uplifting; they helped her gain hope and courage, so she was happy with the outcome. The representatives shunned them, basically saying that it wasn't Disney material and that they would give her songs to sing that would be Billboard Hot 100 material. They seemed disappointed and ashamed that she even shown them her songwriting. It was almost as If they felt she was undeserving and unworthy of their time.

She was heartbroken and spent days bawling her eyes out. She realized that when she signed that contract, she had basically signed her rights away. She instantly regretted signing with Disney, but decided to make the best of it. The determination to do so came crashing down once she experienced the downsides of fame. The hate was eating her up, she instantly felt bad for believing everything in the tabloids and media. They were a crock of shit; just wanting to make money off of celebrities names, not caring about the outcomes.

Honestly, she wanted to give up on everything - including her life. Her thoughts drifted to Miley and a small smile spread across her pink glossed lips. Miley had to deal with a lot more shit then she had to deal with and that scared her. If she was wanting to end her life then how in the hell was Miley feeling? That's the question that she asked herself every minute of the day. Miley had become her inspiration, throughout all the hate and negativity, she held her head up high. And here she was sulking in her own sadness. But, she knew better, it had to be effecting Miley in some sort of way.

A urge came upon her; she had to know what Miley was up to. It was weird, she barely knew Miley. They had hung out with each other a few times, but other then that - nothing. Miley had always been nice and full of life, but she saw something deeper in her eyes. Her blue orbs were like empty; lacking of any emotion. She felt protective over her. Selena and the Gray brothers always seemed to avoid the topic of her.

Clicking onto a popular well known website, she went to Miley's name and clicked the mouse. What she saw next, surprised the hell out of her, bringing numbness throughout her body. There was a picture of Miley wearing only a baggy shirt and underwear. She was flipping the camera off and her bones were sticking out. Just looking at her face, tears poured down her pale skin. This was not the Miley she had once known. She looked completely different, so lifeless and fragile. It scared the living shit out of her.

The protectiveness surged throughout her body, and she knew what she had to do. She was going to pay a visit to Miley, and be there for her. She was going to try and get her back to the old Miley, but from the looks of it, it was going to be a hard ass process.

* * *

Banging on Miley's door, her heartbeat increased and her palms were sweaty. There was no answer. She had a feeling that Miley was in there, so she decided to increase the sound of the banging. Once again, no answer. Traces of worriness flew through her body, and her hand went to the handle. Turning it, she was surprised to find it open. Looking around her, she made sure no one was watching, and flew in, locking the door behind her.

The humongous room felt so alone and depressing. It was cold and felt like a scene out of a movie. Hearing the sound of the shower, she immediately relaxed. She didn't quite know how Miley would take it with her being here, but she was mentally preparing herself for whatever's to come.

She closed her eyes because she couldn't bear to look at the surroundings. Minutes passed by. Hearing a clock ticking, she groaned. Blocking out the clock, she quickly fell asleep. 55 minutes later, she awoke and looked around. Reminding herself of why she's here, she still heard the shower. She found that odd, a hour long shower? Something just didn't feel right.

Normally she wouldn't barge in on someone but she had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. Gently knocking on the door, it immediately opened. Slowly walking into the bathroom, she gasped at the sight of blood. The stench of blood filled the room. Then she saw, Miley lying on the tiles, looking dead.

Running towards her, she starting freaking out. She didn't know what to do, she tried to remember what they did in the movies, but nothing came to mind. She was too distracted with the thought of Miley being dead. She was already crying and she leaned towards Miley's body and checked for a pulse. There was a little pulse; small, but still there.

She then pulled out her cellphone and hesitated during calling 911. She had to contain herself from not dropping the phone. After giving the person on the line all the information on the whereabouts, she clung to Miley, rocking her back and forth.

She felt so lost. With Miley's fragile body in her lap, she broke down. She couldn't take the thought of this happening. Hysterically crying, she kissed the top of Miley's head. She promised herself that If Miley made it, she was going to be there for her no matter what.

Hearing people barge into the room, a look of pain crossed her face. She had to be strong. The paramedics were shocked as hell. You could see the expressions on their face; it was all quite clear. She couldn't imagine what was going through their minds; but at this moment, she didn't give a fuck. She hoped that they would keep their damn mouths shut and do their job.

When she had to let go of Miley, she felt as If she was letting a part of herself go. It was the hardest thing she had to do; but she just reminded herself to not be selfish. As they took Miley away, she lay on the tiles, feeling incomplete. She had blood all over herself, and it made her sick; knowing that was Miley's.

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**A/N : Thoughts? Loved it? Hated it? Please review, it only takes a minute to do so.**


	6. Change

**A/N : Thanks for all the reviews, I'm really glad at how this story is turning out so far. I wasn't going to update for a few more days, but I was listening to some depressing songs on my ipod and got inspired. Mandy makes a guest appearance in this, she'll have a small role in this story, but right now she's finally seeing the light with Miley. Demi is going to be a big part of the story especially when it comes to helping Miley. And, no Selena isn't the bad apple, she's just experiencing the fame and getting lost in it, she's not going to be in the story that much. I might bring Nick in, but I don't want to drag this story on and on because we already know what happens and I still have to do chapters for the aftermath and reactions.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever**

Demi Torres sighed loudly as she breathed in the stale hospital smell. It made her nauseous. For the past 24 hours, everything felt so damn dreamlike and very out of touch. Her emotions were at an all time high. Though the days events felt like a hardcore therapy session, just one glance towards Miley, floods of numerous emotions flew through her body. She felt such a strange close bond with her; it was like she had become a part of her - she was the missing piece to her puzzle.

Glancing towards Miley's direction, she felt her heart skip a beat. The sight in front of her was just to much to bear. Turning her brown orbs towards the white tiles, she focused on the skid marks. Hell, at least it distracted her from the chaos; well for a minute.

Being in a hospital room can really bring someone to check or drive them to insanity. She had been in the closed up environment for a few hours and she was already in between that statement.

She had called Miley's family earlier to inform them about the event that had occurred, and they just hung up on her; practically ignoring the fact that a member of their family almost died. The conversations she had, had with them reminded her of why she used to fight in school. They were so careless and oblivious to the damage that's been done. She was actually at a loss of words - completely speechless. Miley's family always looked so close. _Looked_; that was the problem, she made an **assumption.**

Selena had called her earlier and practically bitched her out when she wouldn't tell her where she was. Their friendship was slowly fading - down the gutter. They weren't as close as Disney had portrayed them out to be. That was just a marketing scheme and a part of a mastermind plot to make them more money. Truth was, she didn't like what Selena had become. It's amazing to see what an ounce of fame can do to someone. In Selena's case, she had turned into a perfect Disney robot in front of the cameras; while the cameras were off, that was a different story.

She had to give the girl props though; she was an amazing actress. She had Disney practically at her feet; worshipping her every word/move. They were convinced she was this perfect little angel that could do no harm.

The sound of the hospital door closing, caused her to naturally move her brown orbs in the direction. She inwardly gasped and a scowl appeared on her flawless face, as she saw who it was.

_Mandy._

She wasn't one to judge, but when it came to bitches like this, she couldn't help herself. Mandy was a fame whore; scratch that, she is a fame whore. Giving her the once over, she rolled her eyes at her appearance. The girl was broadcasting numerous designer labels and the pound of makeup on her face didn't help anything. She looked desperate and pathetic.

She didn't know why she was being so harsh, but the urge of protectivenesscame over her again. She knew what Mandy had done to Miley, and she'd be damn If she let it happen again.

Studying her every move, she could sense the obvious tension in the room. Hell, the girl didn't even take another step, and she was already shaking with nervousness. All she was doing was staring at her, not even bothering to acknowledge Miley's present state.

* * *

**Mandy's POV**

Standing here in this suffocating room, the tension could easily be traced. She felt like she was automatically be judged as Demi's eyes roamed around her body. She felt unwanted; useless.

She didn't even know why in the hell she was here. She had gotten a call from Miley's mother asking her to check up on Miley in the hospital, and here she was, feeling meaningless. Not even daring to move, she stared back at Demi. She was confused to hell and back to why she was even here, she thought she and Miley loathed each other; well at least in the media's eyes.

Demi looked so fragile and broken, it was clearly evident in her features. A pang of guilt shot through her body. _She_ should be the one there in **her** place. Looking down at her heels, she felt ridiculous and out of place.

Glancing towards Miley, her eyes widen and she dropped her purse and coffee. Contents spilled throughout the room and the steaming hot coffee poured onto her outfit. Normally, she would have immediately cursed a storm up, but she was too shocked.

Walking towards the hospital bed, tears streamed down her face; causing her mascara to run. Miley looked so lifeless and hurt. Her once tanned skin, was now scarily pale. She had noticeably lost a lot of weight, and she felt like this could of been prevented. She could have prevented this.

It was all too much; everything came crashing down. Letting her emotions and thoughts get the best of her, she ran out of the room; leaving the contents of her purse scattered around the room and spilt coffee as a reminder that she was here.

* * *

**Demi's POV**

As Mandy ran out of the room, she felt nothing; whatsoever. The bitch deserved to feel something for once. She cringed at the sudden hatred but loosened up when she heard movement coming from Miley's bed.

Cautiously glancing in Miley's direction, a pang of nervousness and sickness struck through her body like lightening. She saw Miley's enormous eyes widen as she took in her surrondings. She hadn't noticed her yet. **Key** **word;** _yet._

Noticing Miley shaking uncontrollably and looking lost, she decided it was now or never. Walking towards the bed, she saw Miley's eyebrows cringe in confusion.

"Miley, I know your probably wondering why the hell I'm here and hell even why the hell are you in the hospital. Well, let's just say that you had an accident and hence you being here."

She cringed at the way she came across, she knew she shouldn't have approached it that way.

"Listen, I'm not good with this mopey shit and I definitely come in last place when it comes to talking to people, I just want you to know that I want to be there for you."

Glancing at Miley, she knew that she had ruined it and came across as a bitch. But, out of nowhere, a huge genuine smile came across Miley's porcelain skin. Her long dangly arms reached out and motioned for a hug.

As they embraced, all the negative emotions went through the door. Hope and happiness flew through each of their bodies.

Whispering softly into her black hair, Miley mumered, "I think this is a beautiful start of a friendship"

They didn't need any other words, hell they were used to the silence, their eyes did all the talking. Feeling relieved, she smiled into Miley's brown locks, it's amazing how much can change in 24 hours.

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**A/N : Thoughts? Like it? Hate it? Feedback is appreciated. Please review(:**


	7. Distraction

**A/N : Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm happy with the way this chapter turned out, I think it's amazing. It goes into detail about Memi's friendship, some Niley mentions, and a surprising phone call. I reposted this chapter because I added more details and a little cliffhanger at the end. Please review, I don't like to be one of those authors that bitch about not getting reviews, but it only takes a minute to review.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever.**

Weeks had passed by since that indescribable day. W e e k s. It's truly amazing how one can impact one's life. The sparkle was back in Miley's blue orbs. The once fake plastered on smile was replaced by a real big genuine smile. Her once pale skin now glowed with happiness. The changes weren't just appearance wise, they started within and shined through. Each feeling and emotion felt so new; fresh. Every moment she experienced, she began living it to the fullest. It felt all so good to be true; dreamlike.

The media was already speculating on the possible causes of the sudden change of attitude. She didn't give a fuck; let them run their mouths. The negativity and press no longer got to her; hell she barely acknowledged it.

Her and Demi's friendship grew closer each and every second they were together. They could tell each other anything and know that it wouldn't leave those four walls. Trust and honesty are a huge factor in their relationship. They know everything about one another. Everything. Including _him._

Disney was pissed about their bond, to put it lightly. They thought that their friendship was ruining their marketing scheme for the Semi **(AKA Selena + Demi) **BFF package deal. It was pretty sickening and pathetic that Disney had turned into that kind of company, but these days it was all about money. They tried to separate them by threatening their careers, but that only strengthened their friendship. Apparently, it was bad for Demi's image to be seen around with Miley. As for Miley, well, people weren't exactly thrilled to see her happy. It's quite sad, actually that people seem so pissed off and act offended over a teenager's happiness. God forbid that someone is _actually_ happy.

Miley would never get some of the people in the world. No matter what she would do, someone would always find a way for her to look bad. When she donated money to charities, people would say things along the line like; 'She just wants attention' or 'She's just trying to make herself look good' Each outfit was criticized. Every move she made was analyzed. She would never be able do anything right in some people's eyes, and she was content with that. For once, it just didn't bother her, and she liked rocking the 'Fuck You' attitude, it suited her quite nice.

Demi was coming later. Tonight was movie night - they would watch classic tearjerker movies, bawling their eyes out as they would dig a spoon through the Ben & Jerry's carton. Sniffing and wiping the countless tears, they would look at each other's disheveled appearance and laugh. This had become a tradition over the past few weeks, it was like a therapy session. As they would cry, it felt like venting the drama and stress they hid away in their minds. Afterwards, they would feel refreshed and cleansed.

As Miley stared at the black modern clock on her wall, she sighed. Everything was so perfect. In the back of her mind, she was just waiting for it to all go wrong. All it could take is just one word or move, and it would all go downhill. Shrugging away the unwanted thoughts, she looked around her once cherished 'safe place.'

She laughed as she realized just how much things had changed. Funny how just about a few weeks ago, she trapped herself in her safe place, never wanting to step a foot outside her comfort zone. Demi had really done her wonders, and she was very thankful.

Part of the reason she was so depressed and out of it was _him._ Hell, he **caused** a lot of this and he walked away with his hands clean. She wished that he would just go against his manager's wishes and defend her. He was just at much fault as she was, but no one seemed to realize it. She never really understood what girls would be talking about when it came to the girl always gets the blame. Now she knew, hell she should, she experienced hell and back for it.

No matter how much she wanted to despise him, she couldn't. Her heart simply wouldn't let her. She loved him, and it hurt thinking that he would never return those feelings. She wanted so much to just pick up her blackberry and dial his digits. The worse he could do would be just to hangup. But, something always held her back. She didn't want to get _hurt_ again.

They had so many memories together. Each memory told a story. The memories could easily be brought back to life, they were permanently implanted in her mind. It was the simple things she missed. It sadden her knowing that she took them for granted at that time. She was so young and naive to think that they would be together forever. She thought their relationship was a fairytale, he would be her prince and she would be the princess. But reality shook in and was quite the opposite.

Even though she was happy, she knew If she had him in her life, she would be a lot happier. And knowing that it would never happen, darkened her day. Tears brimmed from her blue orbs as she saw Demi walk through the door.

He had gotten to her again and the sad part, it was all her fault.

Knowing that she had no one else to blame but herself, the tears started streaming down her porcelain face. All the happiness she had been experiencing was nothing, she would never be fully complete; she didn't have him.

She wanted him and he would never want her back, it was a classic storyline that had been overplayed in movies and television. But that's where the comparisons end; in the movies and television, the girl gets the guy and they live happily ever after.

She would never have her happy ending; only the memories.

Cherished memories that haunted her of what she once had.

Her blackberry started vibrating inside of her jeans pocket, interrupting her thought process. A distraction. Slipping her fingers inside of her pocket, the buzzing of her blackberry on her fingertips refreshed her mind. The thoughts of him disappeared into the stale cold air, and the happiness settled back in.

Smiling brightly at Demi, they didn't need words. They knew each other like the back of their hands. It was quite obvious that he had been the cause for her sudden mood change; he was the only one that had that effect on her.

Looking at the caller ID, her eyebrows cringed; unfamiliar number.

Pressing the talk button, she hit the speakerphone button and let out a confident bubbly "Hello"

"Miley," a girl's cracked voice filled the room. Judging from the girl's tone, it was obvious something was wrong. The cackling of her voice insured her of that, the girl was obviously trying to hold back tears.

"It's Selena, I need your help"

-

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**A/N : Thoughts? Honest feedback is appreciated.**


	8. Meltdown

**A/N : So I changed a lot of things. The title is no longer 'Cracked', it's 'Bittersweet Desire'. It's attention grabbing and I think it suits the story better. I deleted the intro, I think the story itself is better without the intro because with the intro you know what would happen in the end. This is going to have a lot more chapters; friendships will develop, romances will bloom, secrets will be kept, pasts come to light, enemies will be formed. I'm kind of debating If I want to keep the original ending with her committing suicide and dying. I'm thinking it will have a happy ending, but then again most stories have the happy endings, so I might want to do something different. You can let me know in the reviews or through messaging.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever.**

S e l e n a .

The name interrupted her thoughts as her pale fragile hands went numb. A look of shock was evident on her porcelain skin as her blackberry slipped out of her fingers and landed onto the carpet.

_Why in the hell was Selena calling her? And more importantly why the fuck was she asking her for help out of all people?_

Selena's crackled voice filled the room oblivious to the tension she had just caused. Snapping out of her trance, she felt her knees go weak as she strutted towards her blackberry and ended the call.

Emotions were pouring throughout her body as the reality sunk in. She was confused more than anything. Selena had made it clear many months ago that she wanted nothing to do with her. Anger poured through her veins at the sudden interest.

Why now?

After all these months, why is she contacting her now?

Her life is finally back on track and now she comes storming back into it.

First **him** and now _her._

No wonder why their the perfect match for each other.

She cringed at her sudden hate towards another human being. It was all so sudden; unexpected. But yet, it felt right and normal. The numerous emotions that were flowing through her veins felt so **familiar**.

All the emotions she was experiencing took her back to earlier this year, when everything started going downhill. Lifeless and friendless summed it all up. She had no one to turn to that she could actually sit down and vent all of her feelings. Sure there were acquaintances but hell they would just run their mouths to the press. There was always someone around her but they just wanted something - fame, money, exposure. Their fake endless lies matched their plastic barbie doll faces. And the sad part; each and everyone of them had potential to be a good hearted person, but they sold themselves to Hollywood.

As word got around of the Niley breakup, the paparazzi and media coverage increased. Tabloids made her out to be the bad guy while he was the victim. Numerous stories of her cheating surfaced on magazine covers. She was named Britney 2.0.

Then came numerous photo leak incidents and the infamous Vanity fair photo shoot. The media made her out to look like a trashy slut and wanted nothing but the worst for her. By then, it seemed like everyone already had an opinion on her. Most were harsh and cruel, very few were neutral.

There were a lot worse things she could have done; they were just pictures showing just as much as you would see at a beach. The media overreacted, trying to make it something that it wasn't. Hell she had to apologize; of course Disney forced her to do it. She didn't owe anyone a damn shit but she had a contract, so what the hell was she supposed to do? Act like the Disney princess that she surely never will be.

She was there physically but wasn't there emotionally or mentally. She felt so lifeless; dead. She wanted to give up on everything, but her faith just wouldn't die down, yet. She found herself promising that she would try to get back to the old Miley, but she realized she didn't want to. It wasn't worth it in the end, they would just find a way to tear her down again. She was already down, but they kept stomping at her constantly, preventing her from picking up the pieces.

There was more that happened; but it wasn't important, it was basically the same old shit everyday.

Not once did she get a call from **them** or _her_. To think that she once called them her friends. They abandoned her for everything she didn't want to ever experience again. So much for the promises of standing by each other through thick and thin.

Hell, she didn't even know the reason or explanation of why let just cut her out of their lives. The least they could have done was given her a reason. But, that was the least of her worries.

And then there's little miss perfection.

Selena Russo.

She used to adore the girl; but then he had to strut his way into their friendship, breaking their close knit bond. Shattered pieces were left, and it seemed like she was the only one that couldn't pick herself up from them.

It was a perfect overrated plot that became their life.

Interrupting her thoughts of the past, she felt a cold hand on her exposed tanned shoulders. Demi. She had forgot that she was even there. Cautiously looking up at her best friend's face, she was surprised to find tears streaming their way down her smooth skin.

* * *

**Demi POV**

Looking at Miley's porcelain skin, she could clearly make out the tears making their way down her skin. Judging from her face, it was obvious that she had been in deep thought. Sighing, she took out the tissues that she kept in her pockets for the occasional tears that happened at least twice a week. It came in handy, although Miley had been noticeably happier, she still had these moments where something would cross her mind and she would tear up.

Grabbing the soft tissue, she handed it to her friend, as she counted down the seconds to another mini meltdown.

10......9.........8..........7

Four seconds was all it took; a new record.

Whatever she had been thinking about must have affected her really badly. Not knowing exactly how to handle her friend's current position, she sat on the bed beside her and opened her arms out motioning it was alright.

Minutes passed, and were quickly replaced with hours. Miley was current crying on her shoulder, soaking her tank top with her tears. She didn't mind, she just looked at her best friend, not knowing exactly what to do. She was afraid to make the wrong move or say the wrong thing.

Miley's cries slowly came to a hault and she heard a light snore. Smiling, she got herself up and positioned her friend comfortably on her bed. Her pink blackberry caught her eye, and she rolled her eyes.

Leave it to Selena to ruin the mood.

She quietly left; tiptoeing out of that particular wing of the house. She made a mental note to bitch out Selena ASAP, as she strutted to her car. Slamming the car door, she hopped inside, immediately breathing in a mysterious strawberry scent.

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**A/N : Thoughts? Loved it? Hated it? Feedback is appreciated.**


	9. Go Get Her

**A/N : Sorry for not updating. I've been really busy with school and I lost a little inspiration in this story. It wasn't until I read a few hate comments that the inspiration I had lost, gained back. To be honest, I'm a little disappointed in this chapter. It's not my best writing, it's very average to say the least. But, I hope you enjoy it. There's a lot of of drama and chaos to occur in the next chapter. Honest feedback is appreciated.**

**Disclaimer : Own nothing; whatsoever**

**1 Week Later**

Miley Stewart's golden skin glowed as the blinding sunlight poured throughout the egg white blinds. As her blue orbs shunned to life, she felt a bolt of pain fill her broken heart. Her long thin fingers grasped her bulky sweatshirt as she took in her surroundings and ignored the pain. Her logic was if she ignored it, it would vanish into the fresh air. Pain was the least of her worries; the last thing she wanted to be doing was making it worse by acknowledging it.

Her bedroom's floor consisted of numerous designer clothes with the tags still attached which decorated her room by giving it colorful life. She had gone on an expensive shopping spree the day before to distract her from the memories that kept pouring throughout her thought process.

She found herself getting worried of picking up an unhealthy habit. She bought the clothes to fill a void; she didn't want them, but she needed them to help herself recover. The urge to buy more clothes hung in the crisp air as her widen orbs took in the unique and bright items.

Demi hadn't contacted her since their movie night which was an emotional rollercoaster. She was afraid that she had scared her best friend away. Demi had been so selfless by helping her through her issues but she had nothing to offer in return.

She felt like that crazy psycho girlfriend in the movies that would call their exs nonstop and stalk their houses at midnight. In the past week, she had called Demi 300 times. Not that she was counting.

Each call went unanswered and unreturned. Every text went unanswered and ignored. Something felt terribly off and she couldn't quite place her finger on the cause of this.

Curiosity got the best of her countless times this week and had gone to gossip sites desperately seeing If there was anything on Demi. There was nothing - nada. Not even candids. There were rumors circulating around the internet that Demi hadn't been seen in a week. She wasn't one to believe rumors, but this one made sense and therefore she chose to believe it.

She had went to Demi's house numerous times this past week and had gotten nothing. The house looked so empty and contained no life whatsoever. It lacked human presense. The usually warm inviting house now came across as dark and dull.

She felt so alone and out of place. Demi was a factor in what made her almost complete. Her blue orbs were constantly sore and red from crying every spare second. She knew deep down that she didn't do anything to cause this but her mind just wouldn't listen.

The last past few days had been very nerve-wracking filled with traces of worriness and countless tears. She found herself following in the steps of her old habits. And the worst part is there was nothing that could be done to stop that.

* * *

Nick Gray POV

Lying on the queen sized mattress that contained numerous gossip magazines that were spread out on the comfortable material, Nick Gray inwardly sighed as he tried to find his purpose for buying them.

It was no coincidence that each and every one of the magazines contained gossip, rumors, and pictures of Miley. It was his intention to read the latest on his formal girlfriend although he didn't quite know why.

Magazines were a crock of shit; they were full of countless lies. But, he felt a sense of closeness to Miley by reading them. He was in desperate need to see her beautiful porcelain face. And by reading about her and scanning the beautiful photos of her flawless face, he was happy for the few seconds of the day.

His thick tanned fingers traced the outline of her long wavy brown locks. Her lack of smile was evident. She seemed to be forcing herself to fake a smile in the picture. Her eyes looked dead. The spark that she once had seemed to have disappeared.

A salty tear found it's way down his tanned cheeks as he studied the picture. It was moments like these that he wished he didn't know how to read her like a book.

His body shook as his iPhone brought him out of his thoughts. Coldplay's 'Fix You' surrounded the quiet room.

_And the tears come streaming down your face._

_When you lose something you can't replace._

_When you love someone but it goes to waste._

_Could it be worse?_

Ironically the lyrics fit his situation perfectly. The tear had managed to dry up already as he reached for his iPhone and answered the phone call.

Selena's voice poured throughout his ears, "Hey, it's me."

Sighing, he was at a loss of words. He didn't no quite what to say and what he wanted to say, he didn't know how to approach it. He wanted to be very considerate towards her feelings but when you break up with someone, how do you say that without hurting someone's feelings? It's impossible.

"I-iiiiiii," his shaky voice replied. He needed to figure out a way to do this without stuttering like an idiot.

Before he could get another shaky word out, she interrupted him, "Listen Nick, you know I care deeply about you but this relationship isn't going anywhere. I feel like at the time when we got together, it was convenient for the both of us. It distracted us from our previous relationship problems but there's only so many times you can make out with someone before realizing it's just not right. Our relationship isn't healthy and I've found myself changing just to live up to your standards. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't like to see what I've become. It's like I'm a completely different person. We're both aware that it just isn't working out, but we've held the breaking up part as long as we could."

Nick was at an awe of what he had just processed. He felt like a ton of weight had been lifted from his shoulders and for that one moment, he contained hope for _her._

He could sense she was on the verge of tears, as he heard her barely audible voice, "I hope we can remain friends. I got to go Nick. Take care of yourself. Go get _her_."

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**Thoughts? Love it? Hated it? So-so?**


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